Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Why I Can't Believe in Your God: Part 4- Individualized Expression, Individualized Experience

I started this series mainly because I found myself so fluid in my beliefs I couldn't even explain them to a stranger. I needed to express what I view as true as I currently see it (ehh, that still seems too fluid). I also pondered the phrasing of the series's title. Why Can't instead of Don't or Won't? Don't and Won't comes across as if I'm actively trying not to believe whereas Can't expresses more of an inability. This will make a bit more sense after I explain a verse at the core of my spirituality.

 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
   And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
   and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8 NIV

I am but a single expression of life, deserving of no higher praise than the worker ant or a blade of grass. All life will succumb to death, and through our death new life is possible. We are beyond blessed to simply have a chance to experience reality and all that is asked of us is to do justly, love mercy, and to walk humbly with our own experience of reality. As individual expressions of reality we think, speak, dream, and love differently, but it is in that uniqueness where our equality is tenderly held. Even though some of us may think we deserve a bigger slice of life over everyone else in the end our bodies will share the same dirt. What does any of this have to do with my inability to believe in a theistic god? Quite simply we are individualized expressions of life with individualized experiences. The universe will never again spring up another you, ever. Each of us is a unique cosmic event that will only occur once and then fade back into the circle of life, like wave into ocean.

As an individual expression I experience everything from my own perspective. Even if I tried to comprehend your individual experience it will be filtered through my own. I must learn to walk humbly with my own experience and perception of Reality before I can even begin to comprehend yours. I must walk humbly with MY perception of _____, whatever THAT may be. This is why I've had trouble pinning down my beliefs, because I don't know what THAT is, I can only experience it and I'm not quite done experiencing ____ just yet. This is why I CAN'T believe in your God, because your God can only truly be perceived and experienced by you. I'm willing to listen to you and your experience because you are a cosmic event which will never arise again. How can I not be enthralled!


Don said...

This series continues to reach my heart. We share so much. Thanks for continuing to push me further along on my journey. I really hope to be able to meet face to face one day.

Eruesso said...

I'd also like to be able to meet one day. Maybe we can set up some video chat time one day if possible.

captron52 said...

Very well put Sam! I agree with you wholeheartedly, just wish everyone could arrive at some point in their personal search for spirituality where they could accept others as they are. Maybe someday huh? I love all your posts my friend!

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