Conversations with Ourselves: Reflections on Who We Were

The idea of having a conversation with 2006 Sam is what inspired me to write this series. What would 2006 Sam think of 2012 Sam? Would '06 cringe at the thought that everything he believed in would be out the window 6 years later? Would '06 avoid taking this journey knowing he might end up like me? I thought about writing this one in an interview style format but I can't think like '06 Sam anymore and I would probably make him sound too cartoonish. I thought about seeking out someone who shares the beliefs I held in '06 but even then that would fall short because every spiritual journey is 100% completely unique. It can not be copied or duplicated. Oh there can be similarities but all spiritual journeys are unique.

[Summit by David Hayward (Naked Pastor). This is part of David's Sophia series. I highly recommend checking out David's work if you haven't already.]

Looking back, I don't have any regrets for how my journey has taken shape. There were many dark moments along the way but in the end I made it through. This journey is not about a destination or any kind of spiritual enlightenment. It is about learning how to be human, it is about embracing all the chaotic moments of life and cherishing my remaining years I have on this pale blue dot. '06 Sam was looking for something, his missing piece, and what I've found is that I've had it all along. I was chasing my own tail. As I migrated away from Christianity I found myself more accepting of those different from myself. My basic human morality (don't steal, hurt, lie, etc.) has remained the same. I've just widened the definition of who I call my brother. This doesn't mean that Christians are closed minded people, but for ME and MY journey I am more embracing of my global brothers and sisters. The journey I've taken can still be taken within religion, it doesn't necessarily have to lead you away from your original faith but what it will do is help you discover who you are and who you can be. It is a noble goal to be your best self, but you can't get there if you don't explore.

So if you are still sitting on your doorstep fearful of taking that first step my question is why are you sitting outside instead of safe and comfy inside? What's holding you back? Something drew you to step outside so why not explore a little?


Part 1) Conversations with Ourselves: The Question
Part 2) Conversations with Ourselves: The Internal Struggle
Part 3) Conversations with Ourselves: The External Struggle
Part 4) Conversations with Ourselves:  Reflections on Who We Were
Part 5) Conversations with Ourselves: Making Peace with Chaos
Part 6) Conversations with Ourselves: Making Sense of It All

Internal Battle

David Hayward illustrates what many of us believers in exile have experienced.When David shared this on Facebook he said  he wasn't going to say anything to "just see what happens". That rascal. On his website he says that he is a graffiti artist on the walls of religion. I'd go one step further and say he's a holy rascal.  

[Intellect vs. Belief by David Hayward]

Has this happened to you? I struggled with this internal war for years before letting go of religion. My beliefs have changed. I feel it has led me to be more compassionate and loving towards my fellow man. This works for me because I've realized that our spirituality is uniquely our own. You don't need an outside force (religion) telling you HOW to be human. It can be useful but not exclusively necessary. Churches are hemorrhaging members and they are doing everything they can to bring lost sheep back into the fold. Most use fear tactics which backfires mainly because people they (churches) fail to understand one of the main reasons people leave is because they don't feel comfortable in that community. They leave because they don't feel welcomed, they feel alone within the community, and even feel that there is more fear than love being spouted from the pulpit. It just doesn't work for them. But just because it doesn't work for them means your faith is meaningless. Quite the opposite: by discovering your spirituality is your own allows you to grow in your faith, to grow in love.  THIS works for me. What works for you?